Wardrobe Notes - On dressing for a life you actually live
On fantasy style and the wardrobe you already have
Before my holiday to Greece, I wanted to make something new. Not because I had a gap or because I’d fully thought it through. It’s just a habit I have. A trip was coming, so somewhere in the back of my mind, that felt like it required something new to go with it. Spoiler: I didn’t end up making anything. But I did made a new observation of my wardrobe that I’d like to share with you.
Every time something good is coming up, a holiday, an event or a new season, we immediately ask ourselves: what am I going to wear ? And that question often comes with a follow up reflection: what am I going to buy ? For us makers, we’ll look for new fabric, new yarn, a new pattern, etc. It’s such a familiar feeling that we rarely stop to question it. And I’m not here to condemn it, but it’s worth asking: where does that impulse actually come from? Is it a real need, or is it something else?
Because let’s be honest, most of the time, I think it’s something else, a fantasy.
Not a fantasy about the clothes themselves, but about the life we imagine wearing them in. We all have a version of this, a style we’re drawn to that belongs, if we’re honest, to a different body, a different climate, or a different context. This probably sounds random, but for me it’s Dakota Johnson. I love the way she dresses: that feminine, effortless, slightly undone ease. But it clearly doesn’t align with my body type, my lifestyle, or who I actually am when I get dressed in the morning. Besides Dakota Johnson, I also get carried away with Instagram pictures of influencers such @EmsWells, @Alexisforeman, @lil_bangla, @_livmadeline and the list goes on. You might want to check their pages, they all got their own personal style that’s very different from each other, and definitely different from mine. But before Greece, that fantasy to dress like all of them and to get beautiful pictures like them got louder. Suddenly I wasn’t thinking about packing for my actual life. I was thinking about packing for a version of it so that I can share cool pictures for the Me-Made-May challenge.
I think we can all agree that this gap between the fantasy wardrobe and our real one is where a lot of misguided decisions start. This is how it happens in my case: I make something beautiful that fits the dream perfectly. It arrives in my wardrobe but ends up being barely touched because it was made for someone that’s not quite me. This must sound familiar, right ? You love it in theory, but you never reach for it. And the difficult thing is that the fantasy style feels like taste, like aspiration. It feels like knowing what you want. However, it only becomes clear later that it’s not made for you, when the piece sits unworn and you can’t quite explain why. Does this mean I’ll stop admiring Dakotha Jonhson or unfollow those cool fashion girlies on Instagram ? No, definitely not! They’re still a source of inspiration. I’m not saying to eliminate or to fully get rid of the fantasy style you might have. I don’t think it’s even possible, since we all get influenced in some way. But I did changed my approach towards it.
There’s a version of the fantasy style that works, that genuinely inspires your making practice rather than leading it somewhere you can’t follow. The difference is in whether you’re using it as a destination or a direction. For example, I love the brand Posse. Their easy yet polished, considered, and feminine aesthetic is something I find myself returning to when I’m trying to understand what I want to make next. But I’m not trying to become the woman in their campaigns, because I’m not like her. I’m using their visual language as a reference point, something to translate, not copy. Same with my favorite style influencers such as Monikh or Brittany Bathgate. Their style is one I admire, but it is very different than mine. The fantasy style becomes a source of inspiration that I can actually work with, because I’m filtering it through my own body, my own climate, my own life. That’s the version worth keeping. The other version, where the fantasy becomes a north star you follow without questioning, is where you end up with a wardrobe full of pieces that look right and feel wrong. That doesn’t work in the place you actually live, with the body you actually have, for the days you actually experience.
When I finally stood in front of my wardrobe before Greece, and I asked myself honestly whether I was packing for my real life or an imagined one, the answer was clear. I already had what I needed. The clothes I brought to Greece were things I wear in Belgium. My Karl shirt, my blue pleated top, my trusted Versa pants, a wrap skirt, and my loved TAL bermuda. Nothing made for Greece specifically, and that turned out to be exactly the point: none of it had been made for an occasion, they had been made for my personal style, that I love to express everyday in my life. A wardrobe built for no occasion in particular and every one.
The urge to make something new before the trip was clearly influenced by using fantasy style as a north star, not as a source of inspiration. And once I could see that, it lost most of its hold. I didn’t care for new clothes anymore, I was excited for wearing what I already had. And the best part is that I genuinely felt good in every outfit.
So before your next holiday, or your next making decision, it’s worth pausing on the question: am I making this for the life I live, or for one I’m imagining?
If you recognise this feeling, the urge to make or buy something new before a trip or event, even when you already have enough, I’d love to hear it. Whether you’ve found a way to use it rather than follow it blindly. Share it in the comments.
Thank you for reading.
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Thank you for this post, it really resonates with me as I am packing for a holiday in Italy😅. And I love your Peppermint wrap skirt!
I love the comment about fantasy life and actual life and working with what you have. I don’t need new clothes, I need to become familiar again with everything I’ve got and mix it up and accessorize it and style it and shop my closet. I’ve got some wonderful things I just need to get reacquainted with. Move them around so they are in a new place so I see them differently and take the time to play around.